it was my birthday yesterday. well, officially, 2 days ago. i escaped him the whole day. managed NOT to see him at all. spent the day at my mom's. when i came home, i had a gift. an 80 gb external drive, which is something i really wanted. for a while, it confused me. familiar thoughts started rushing through my mind, "he must care", "this costs a lot of money, he must still think of me" blah blah blah. i just had to remember how mean he can be to me, as opposed to how sweet he is to his "friends", how he stays out late every single night, and how he can't even take me to a movie, to remember why i have the wall that now surrounds me.