week 13, day 5

I'm down a one way street without a one night stand
from bad to worse...
with a one track mind out in no man's land
everytime i think i've hit rock bottom, he surprises me
the punishment sometimes don't seem to fit the crime
and i find the floor beneath me fall out from under me

there's a hole in my soul
and i sink to new depths
one thing i learned
i don't want to grow bitter
for every lover letter written
but who can believe in love this way?
there's another one burned
what i thought was pure and unshakeable
so you tell me, how is it going ot be this time?
has been tarnished and shaken

is it over?
yeah, is it over? how can i know?
cause i'm blowing out the flame
with every minute of indifference that passes
take a walk outside your mind
i feel the colder sinking deeper
tell me how it feels to be the one who turns the knife inside me
and still, i'm the one who's hurt and afraid of losing it all
take a look and you will find there's nothing there
he's empty, has been for years
i swear
never thought it would happen, but it has
cause there's a hole in my heart
and now he's draining me, slowly, but certainly
that's been killing me forever
and we're both dying together
its a place where the garden never grows
and living apart

there's a hole in my heart
i don't like who i've become
and i should have known better
apathy used to be a stranger
cause your love's like a thorn without a rose
now apathy is the friend that keeps me whole
i'm as dry as a seven year drought
i cry less now
got dust for tears and i'm all tapped out
but that doesn't mean i don't hurt more
sometimes i feel so broke i can't get fixed
i'm scarred and bent all out of shape


i know there's been all kinds of shoes underneath your bed
i only know about her for sure
now i sleep with my shoes on
but who can tell me how many there has been, really?
but you're still in my head
i still chose to stay, my mistake
something tells me
i should've bailed when i could still come back
this time, i'm down to my last licks
now i've killed my own illusion

cause if its over then its over
i don't know what i'm waiting for
and its driving me insane
all the signs point outside the door
take a walk outside your mind
but i'm still here, hurting, dying
tell me how it feels to be the one who turns the knife inside of me
he isn't killing me, its suicide